Army of slugs and snails

I cannot believe the size of the slugs up here! It had to be posted on the blog. This one was from a while ago and I am yet to find one that beats it. But, MY GOD! Where do these things come from. Are they like Teenage Mutant Ninja Slugs? Not only are they GIANT but they have a ridge down their back which is almost like a long dorsal fin. Like an eel. I guess they are just fins. But why?
Anyway, having been totally gobsmacked by the sheer size of this invertebrate, I came to the conclusion that I had, indeed, found a new species of slug. However, upon closer Google searches I discovered that this thing is called... wait for it....
THE COMMON GREY GARDEN SLUG!
How can Google burst my bubble like that? I mean, really! Who throws a shoe?
Ugh... IDIOTS!
But, these things are EVERYWHERE up here. Whenever I walk home and it has been raining it is like a minefield of slugs and snails. Literally hundreds of them all over the footpath. And, the slugs explode. They don't squelch or crush like snails, they really do explode. It's awful.
Ok, enough.
Oh god.. election tomorrow. Please vote Labour. National will ruin NZ. Keep NZ Nuclear-free. Let the slugs run wild. Free as the mighty polar bear.
K