nuw zuhland

J: Well, I'm exceedingly proud of being from Aotearoa but I must confess that, in my job, I am also very embarrassed of the nuh zuhlanders that ring up. They, for the most part, are total imbeciles. And, worse than that, they have the most apalling stories. I'm glad it's me taking the calls and not an aussie, put it that way.
Here's a wee tidbit from this morning:

Caller: uh, like, I'm from nuh zuhland and my boyfriend, who's an aussie, wants to stop me taking my daughter to NZ.
JL: Yes?
C: Can he?
JL: Let me see if I can find some info on this for you (thinking: not a bloody chance mate). Is your boyfriend the father?
C: yup, and he's like in jail.
JL: OK (thinking: yes of course he is)
C: and he's left me for another woman so I don't see why I can't, like, take my daughter to, like Nu Zuhland...
JL: I'm afraid it's a legal matter, you'll have to call a lawyer.
C: well, I like, don't have a lawyer.
JL: OK I'll look one up for you. (Thinking: why don't you use the one that left your ex-boyfriend in prison?)...

And so on. I don't think that this has expressed fully how obnoxious and irritating this woman was. I think her boyfriend went to jail to escape her. And there are calls like this everyday...
Whingeing wont stop it, so I'll stop, but just so you're aware that we should have standards to uphold if we don't want to be known as the Alabama of the world, or a Jerry Springer NZ.